Darth Banker

Umm, Deal or No Deal is advertising a Star Wars-themed show. Darth Banker? Are you serious?

Intellectual Elites

Okay, so Laura and Jenna Bush were on NBC's Today Show promoting their new book, Read All About It, which is a book to promote literacy.

http://www.foxnews.com/wires/2008Apr22/0,4670,TVLauraBushTodayShow,00.html

A book. To promote literacy. Really? Maybe it's just me, but it seems like that is sort of like advertising the benefits of eating breakfast on the inside of Frosted Mini Wheats.

Also, Jenna Bush said that she has told her fiancé "that on every Christmas Eve I plan to still sleep with Barbara." I wonder if she considered the idea that he might totally go for that. Maybe she needs to be more specific.

Traffic Disruption

It seems like I've been driving a lot lately. In reality, I don't think I'm driving any more than usual--it just so happens that I do a lot of driving all the time. I've noticed that there are several things that can disrupt the normal flow of traffic. Accidents seem to disrupt traffic. I saw one of those today. Cars that stop at a stoplight and then stall and won't start disrupt traffic. I saw that twice today. Construction is an ever-present disruption to the regular flow of traffic. I saw that seven times today. (I love this town.) But, honestly, nothing could ever disrupt traffic more than the presence of a police officer. That crap never stops.

This Sucks

This story makes me sad.

President Bush (WE LOVE BUSH!) gave Michael A. Monsoor a bronze star post humorously for falling on a live grenade to save his comrades. The dude was a Navy SEAL. What a waste. I understand that SEALs are humans, too, and therefore susceptible to death, but still. Any valiant, courageous hero can fall on a grenade. Not just anybody can survive "Hell week."

Can somebody please explain to me again why our guys are still over there? Stupid Iraq.

Mr. Right

So, there are all these women out there looking for "Mr. Right." Of course, if he's married already he can't be "Mr. Right" because these women want "Mr. Right" to be in a relationship with them. So, "Mr. Right" is single, and the only way he can be "Mr. Right" is if he stays that way.

Well, let's take a different approach.

If a woman found "Mr. Right" he would marry her. Everyone knows that women are impatient with men who aren't willing to commit. The unwillingness is some sort of character flaw. "Mr. Right" is supposed to be perfect, so he can't have a major character flaw like the unwillingness to commit. So, "Mr. Right" gets married. Well, ask any married woman, and she will let you know that her husband is a moron and is always wrong. "Mr. Right," again, cannot have a major character flaw, so he must not be a moron or always wrong (as all married men are). Therefore, "Mr. Right" is single, and the only way he can be "Mr. Right" is if he stays that way.

Women want "Mr. Right" to be their own Romeo. Romeo killed himself pretty much as soon as he got married. What a bad idea. "Mr. Right" isn't quite right if he's dead. Therefore, "Mr. Right" is single, and the only way he can be "Mr. Right" is if he stays that way.

Tell me I'm wrong. (Of course, I'm not married, so I might actually be right.)

Presidential Material

This guy thinks he is Presidential material. The sad thing is how many people agree with him.



What do we have to do to get somebody decent to run?