Tiger

Amidst the wild allegations and speculations regarding Tiger Woods, many are questioning his integrity.  Is this really a surprise to you people?  Let me fill you in on a little secret.  Anyone with a billion dollars gets laid any time and every time they want.  Yes, I know Tiger is married.  I also know that his wife is from Sweden and goes there frequently.  Studies have shown us that athletes are the most sexually aggressive people out there.  Did you seriously think that Tiger works on his swing eighteen hours a day when his wife was away?  Of course he wasn't.

Amidst the wild allegations and speculations regarding Tiger Woods, no one is questioning the integrity of his wife.  News reports say that the couple is renegotiating its prenuptial agreement, and that Elin Nordegren will gain a seven-figure amount for staying with the golfer, even more if she stays for seven years.  This reminds me of a little joke:

A man approaches a woman at a hotel bar.  He tells her, "I'm a hugely successful businessman, but I'm terribly lonely tonight.  I will pay you a million dollars if you come to my room and have sex with me now."  The woman agrees.  Once in the elevator, the man says, "Actually, I have no money at all.  Will you still have sex with me?"

The woman is furious.  "No.  What do you take me for!?"

"We've already established what you are.  Now we're negotiating price."

I'm not saying Elin should or should not stay with Tiger.  I'm just saying, we have descriptive terms for people who mate for money.

Oh, and by the way,  I'm pretty sure Elin understands, and has always understood the billionaires-always-gets-laid principle.  I refuse to believe that she didn't know this crap was going on, nor do I believe that she didn't expect it from the day they took their vows.

Rarrr.